Broken Promises, Lost Dreams
by reya-chan
Summary: He watched her in the arms of his brother...watched her as she left...Oneshot Angst SessKag


Since my Sess/Kag Oneshot has seemingly taken off, I decided, I actually prefer writing OneShots, instead of one long fanfic. But I'm committed at this point, but I do enjoy writing. Alas. Oneshots are better for me to write. I prefer writing them, but I will stick by Wading In Too Far.

I also know I'm always basing my OneShot's around Kagome, and how she affects everyone, and to me, I love her to bits. I can really write from her POV, I think she's wicked. And the weird thing is, is that I don't hate or dislike Kikyo. I think she's just misunderstood. So, here's another angst Oneshot!

Please keep in mind, all of my OneShots are angst and romance, and deal around the same type of things. Death, rejection etc... Please keep this in mind when you read. Although, I like to add twists. ;)

**Written**: July 12, 2005

**Edited and Posted**: July 15th, 2005

**Summary**: He watched her in the arms of his brother...watched her as she left...(Oneshot Angst Sess/Kag)

**Broken Promises, Lost Dreams**

Her heart had shattered so long ago, it had broken so many times and yet she found herself coming back every single time. Coming back to what was certainly her own downfall.

But she past all the blood, fighting and gore, and thought that with one dream, with a promise from an inu hanyou, that would be the difference, that with a strong effort, love and support, they could win.

She smirked to herself.

Again, there lie her mistake, and again she had been too oblivious to see it. She had stupidly put her blind faith into whoever it was, battling against whatever enemy, trusting that she could come back from feudal times unscathed.

She glanced briefly at the wall next to her.

That had been her other mistake. She gave everything she had, and in the end, it hadn't been enough. She had fought with every ounce of strength, every flame of hope, every fiber in her being, and she had failed.

Perhaps not fail everyone, but she had failed herself.

She now stared out the large window, and stood up of the cool marble floor. She stared at the outside with such longing, but forced herself to remain. Her soul cried out, wanting to be returned with it's other part, but again, her wishes would be denied.

She walked gingerly, as if afraid the floor would collapse beneath her, she made her way across the entranceway, past the grand staircase, to the window. This place, it was her sanctuary.

She also knew if she fled this so called sanctuary there would be no going back. She had surmised long ago, in life and death situations, her mind had built this place, in order to keep her mind preoccupied as her body rebuilt itself.

She smiled as she sat down against the windowsill.

Here, she could be anything she wanted, live how she wanted, dress as she pleased, loved who ever she wanted, al without responsibility. Resting her elbows against the edge of the sill, she sighed when the crisp air filled her lungs.

She always preferred the night to daytime; it seemed to relax her better. She smiled a tad, knowing why she felt at peace during the night. It always seemed that InuYasha would always be watching her, protecting her from the evils of the world.

She leaned further onto her wrists, staring at the nighttime sky. Millions of stars twinkled merrily in the midnight blue sky, the half moon in the sky. The wistful winds blew her raven hair around her shoulders, and her chocolate brown eyes focused on the bright haven above.

She grinned just a little more when flashbacks of sitting under the night sky with her friends, talking and wishing on the stars.

Her mind berated her for continuing on those thoughts.

She reminded herself where wishing and believing got her… once again her futile attempts at wishing had brought her round to this place… of unknown originality. She knew it was her mind, and that was ll. Whatever she felt, the vision she saw changed to match. If she cried, it rained, if she was angry, fire was set to forests, if she was hurt, blood would spill around her… and if she was lonely, the world would become nothing except a prison cell.

Not knowing how she felt at the moment, the world around her remained neutral. It was just, normal, ordinary. It was like her real life, except it lacked life.

She sighed wistfully, wishing her friends were here with her, basking in their company, joking and talking.

She watched as the world began to lose focus, and swirl into one mass of color. Her mind ached at this point, throbbing, pulsing, pushing her mind to the brinks. She moaned, but let no other sound escape her mouth.

Suddenly, the world stopped, halting immediately, making Kagome lose her balance. She didn't even realize she was standing, until she fell face first into stone concrete. Not knowing what else to do, she let the momentary pain release her, slowly and carefully.

Her mind ached from the sudden shift of worlds, and her body was sore from the drop, and the wounds it contained before. She placed both palms on the cold floor, and tried to pry herself up, but found she didn't have the strength.

So, she remained still, watching the tears flow from her eyes. She watched as they hit the floor and evaporated. She glared at the floor, causing more tears to fall. Why was she crying? Why was she upset?

It almost felt like she was supposed to remember something… someone… but nothing important came to her mind. She just continued to cry against the darkness of the cell she knew she was imprisoned in. Only the floor of a cell would look like this, so dank and impenetrable, so sturdy yet hurtful.

In an instant, she felt the rain on her back. She winced, it felt like acid rain, and that meant these were her tears, falling from the ceiling. They felt so hard, so painful, so breaking. She felt the burning sensation through her clothing, the feel of scolding water on her flesh.

Wincing again, she remained quiet, biting back the obvious pain she felt. Yet, she didn't understand. Why did this feel so real? The pain… it wasn't supposed be here, in this place, her mind. It was supposed to be minimized, not maximized.

Finding new curiosity in this newfound fact, she lifted herself with a weak hand, and kneeled. She closed her eyes as she felt her tears mix with whatever was falling from the ceiling, letting the pain become her.

She gasped for air, finding it hard to breath. What was going on? This had never happened before… She opened her eyes, and watched as the tiny droplets hit the ground, splashing and creating more droplets. But her eyes widened when she realized what it really was.

These weren't tears, nor rain… this was blood… her blood…

She closed her eyes, and for the first time in her sanctuary, she cried. This was her blood pouring from the ceiling, her life that was falling slowly always from her. She glanced at her hands, turning them over. She saw nothing, but she felt… it felt like blood was dripping off of them.

She looked at all the places where there was pain, or what felt like blood, she saw nothing. She cringed when it felt like someone was hammering into her side with a nail .She whimpered some, but still, she did not release a scream.

She rolled onto her back, facing the black ceiling. It began to hurt everywhere now, and she couldn't stop it. Her heart slowed down, although she was unsure why. She seemed to calm down, letting no more tears shed, blinking through the blood, breathing through the pain.

She felt warm, almost like an embrace was trying to keep her healthy, like a final goodbye. She smiled. She couldn't say goodbye, not yet. She'd get over this, like she did every time.

She knew when Naraku's incarnation hit her through the shoulder; it was deep, but not lethal. Unless she had been left there to die, bleeding. But she reassured herself, knowing someone would have come for her. Her love would have come for her.

She folded her hands on top of her breasts, and watched as the rain avoided her eyes, but hit her face with a tiny splash. The acid of the blood didn't sting much anymore, and now that she was used to it, she lay in a pool of her own blood, never more calm, never more at peace.

She yawned, she felt sleepy, and tired. All of her energy must be going to heal her body, she surmised. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, relaxing in the quiet environment.

But... she felt so tired, she wanted to sleep, knowing when she woke, her body would be healed and all would be good once more. It always worked out that way.

**XxXxXxX**

He'd never admit it, not in a thousand years, but the way his brother held her in his arms, the way he caressed her paling body, made his stomach twit in jealousy. Never had he felt it this severe before, and during such time, it should have been him.

It should have him who had taken her blow, who should have been in her arms, not this way…

Sesshomaru watched in sadness as Kagome's life began draining away with the blood. Never had he seen so much of it from one human, never had he felt his life slowly diminishing with it.

InuYasha held Kagome in his arms, crying over her dying body. No one could heal her, it was impossible, as she had already lost so much blood, and the blow hit above her heart. It was a miracle she survived this long... And he screamed in his mind, use Tensegia when the time came, but he knew better than that.

Kagome was a miko, and a strong one at that, and her power, no matter how weak it was, would deflect Tensegia's attempts at restoring her life.

But that fact didn't ease the pain that was bringing with her death. He had to try, he had to see her breathing, smiling, laughing, loving… He cringed when Kagome took in a shuddering gasp for air.

He took one step forward, and immediately, InuYasha growled at him, through the tears that leaked down his face. He snapped, "Stay the fuck away from her. You could have stopped the attack, saved her, but you didn't."

Sesshomaru felt the pang of guilt running through him again. He wanted to save her, but it was she or Naraku. Naraku had to die, meaning he had Sesshomaru's undivided attention.

He knew if he could go back in time, and alter the course of which he had done things, he would have saved Kagome in a heartbeat.

After what she had said to him, when he caught himself going to her despite the obvious danger that he was in, he didn't understand the emotions that came with her words.

**_Flashback_**

"Kagome!"

Sesshomaru looked from his battle with Naraku to see Kagome running forward, her arrow that she had placed on her bow glowing with an extra amount of energy. She was putting everything she had into this arrow, all of her power.

Sesshomaru tried to ignore her, but her safety kept coming back to him, her smiles, her tears over his ignorant half brother, everything. In his mind, Kagome reined his thoughts, causing him to get sloppy with his sword. Tokijin was easily deflected by Naraku's own sword, and Sesshomaru saw Naraku watch in amusement as Kagome released the arrow.

What he hadn't expected was InuYasha's wind scar to match with the arrow, both coming at him at the same time. He screamed in anger, and before he was incinerated, Sesshomaru watched the tentacles dive for the relieved miko.

She never did see it coming.

He could have saved her, but he had just hoped InuYasha could have saved her instead. So, he used a blast from Tokijin, defiantly finishing off the bastard known as Naraku.

But when he heard a scream… a scream from Kagome… what he knew as his heart felt like shattering.

He turned in time to see the tentacle pulling out of her chest, blood flowing freely and heavily from the wound. He searched his mind for reasons that he shouldn't feel anything for the girl, and the only one he could come up with was that she was mortal.

But he…

But he knew he felt something for her. Something a taiyoukai of the west shouldn't feel. He rushed to her aid anyways, his heart pounding in his chest, anger at Naraku pooling through him. He didn't understand these feelings he was encountering, but… He'd deal with them later.

He picked up her body in his arms, and he knew their time together would be brief, as he could hear InuYasha rushing over to Kagome's aid. She managed to open her eyes, and look up at him with those innocent chocolate brown eyes.

He bit back the urge to touch her cheek, but heard her whisper, "Sesshomaru. It's you." He nodded his head, silver hair spilling around them. She was breathing heavily, but she continued to talk, "Have you ever fell in love with someone who you never thought you could? Because this man that I fell in love with protected me until the end. He may not have loved me the same, but I'm sure he felt friendship towards me."

Sesshomaru furrowed his brow as he wiped off the sweat on her brow. She closed her eyes temporarily, and he panicked, thinking she may have died. But, again he amazed her, while she reopened her eyes. He decided to keep her mind focused, until InuYasha could get here.

"I suppose I fell in love once. But I never did tell her. But, you shouldn't tell me this, you should at least be telling this to the man your in love with." At this, Kagome smiled weakly, as Sesshomaru could feel the blood soaking through his haori.

At the moment, he could care less, watching the young miko pant for air. Her forehead was become wet with sweat, but he couldn't have thought she looked more beautiful, as she replied tiredly, "I just did."

His heart sped up, his mind raced, and he wanted to reply, but before he could say anything back, InuYasha reached them, and began to become angry with Sesshomaru.

So… his brother knew of what he could have done…

_**End Flashback**_

Hearing those words in his mind, _I just did_, made his heart speed up, and his mind whirl with thoughts.

Guilt sank in, and no matter how hard he tried to put up his mask, and block the feeling, he couldn't. He felt guilty for what he'd done.

She was going to die as if she were at his hands, dying as though he had stabbed her. He could have saved her, yet the thirst for Naraku's blood drove him over the edge, drove him to ignore her safety.

He had broken a promise to her. When he had joined up with the small group to finish of Naraku, and finally got over the fact that Kagome was mortal, defiant, ignorant, and persistent, he started to like her more and more. She was sweet, caring and you could hold an enjoyable and an intelligent conversation without it being awkward.

He had promise her, much like InuYasha had, that he'd protect her. He hadn't understood at the time, why he'd done it, but it seemed crystal clear now.

A taiyoukai of the west had fallen in love with a miko.

He looked at her dying form, and his mind told him to ignore the feeling in his heart, but a small voice… a tiny voice from his heart told him to go to her. She was dying, and he'd never see her again.

He stepped forward once more, and InuYasha growled, glaring at his brother, and spoke again, "Can't you save her with Tensegia?" Sesshomaru was thinking the same thing. He knew he couldn't, but his heart was persistent.

He spoke calmly, "You are foolish, little brother. You know Kagome is a miko, her powers, no matter how weak they may be in this state, would deflect Tensegia."

His heart broke. He saw Kagome open her eyes once more, and she stared right at him. As if pleading with him to say something to her. He had to, he knew this was the last time he'd see her alive.

His heart shredded then.

Just like that, as Kagome closed her eyes, and slipped into unconsciousness. She couldn't wait any longer than that. He hadn't said anything to her, but he could hear a very faint pulse going through her body, so she wasn't dead.

She was alive, but he took one look at her bloody body, and knew not for long.

He glared at his brother, who just glared back, and Sesshomaru could see the underlying beg in that glare.

InuYasha wanted Sesshomaru to save her. He would, if it were that simple. He kneeled next to her, and placed a clawed hand on her forehead. She didn't even flinch or move beneath his touch.

Kagome's head was on InuYasha's lap, and it was uncomfortable for him to be doing this in front of his half brother, but he needed to say goodbye. He couldn't understand, but he knew it would mean a lot to her.

He looked down at her face, that it almost looked like she was sleeping.

He wanted to wake her, and lead a life that would obviously be hard, but it would be with her. He knew that. If anything could be different, he'd make it so that he could have save her.

But there was no time to berate himself, so he laid a tender kiss on her lips, and whispered, "I don't understand how you thought I could have protected you until the end. I failed you. I broke my promise. But... I love you too."

With that, he stood up, and watched InuYasha's face turn from sadness to confusion. He wouldn't tell InuYasha, he was better off knowing not what happened between he and Kagome.

He turned his back on them, and walked away, never to look back. If he did, he would have seen InuYasha crying over Kagome's now dead body.

**XxXxXxX**

_Where am I?_

Kagome looked around the white space she seemed to be floating in.

She had no idea where she was, but fear began to consume her. She wasn't in her sanctuary anymore, and she looked down at her clothes. She was wearing a white kimono with a pale blue obi. Her hair was partially tied up in a bun, with pieces framing her face, and around her neck.

She looked over her hands and saw no blood. She was clean of the blood that was once covering her entire body. The pain also, seemed to have diminished. She furrowed her brow, as a fuzzy picture of what was obviously a battle scene appeared before her.

She watched in a mixture of amazement and horror as she saw herself… in InuYasha's arms. But how could that possibly be? She watched the scene play out. Sesshomaru stood merely feet away from her, and every time he moved forward, InuYasha would yell at him. She couldn't hear what he was saying; the voices were almost like they were muted.

But…

Then the entire scene came to a close up, of herself and Sesshomaru. He was kneeling over her, and she could see how horrible she looked. Pale, bloody and her breathing was low.

That was when Sesshomaru laid a sweet kiss on her lips. The same time that the scene played out in front of her, she felt something warm on her own lips. She was happy to know that he cared about her somewhat.

That was when she heard his words, the only thing she had heard throughout the entire thing, "I don't understand how you thought I could have protected you until the end. I failed you. I broke my promise. But... I love you too."

Her heart stopped.

She began to panic, the reality of the situation sinking in. Sesshomaru wouldn't have shown emotion in front of InuYasha like that, unless the situation was dire. Meaning… she was dying. '

She screamed at Sesshomaru as he began to walk away, leaving her alone in the arms of InuYasha. Well, even if she was in InuYasha's arms, she felt cold, alone and empty when the thought of death lingered her mind. She watched as Sesshomaru walked away, and she shouted his name once more.

She wanted him by her side, wanted him there, here, wherever she was. She felt so isolated, so alone. Utterly alone. Lost and confused, she sank to her knees and cried Sesshomaru's name over and over again.

Kagome held her arms around herself, as InuYasha shouted something. She couldn't hear anymore! She looked up, and watched the image go fuzzy, then it completely wiped out, as she saw InuYasha's piercing amber eyes once more.

She stood up, and looked around in confusion. What was happening?

The white world went black.

**_XxXxXxX_**

* * *

I'm hoping you all know what happened to dear Kagome when her world went black. Yes, it was a sad fic to write. Very depressing, since I love Kagome so much. I really didn't like killing her off, honestly.

So, please leave a review if you liked it! Thank you.

_**secretshadows**_


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